


this is the part where the silence takes hold.

by hollyhobbit101



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Trauma, reference to possession, serious spoilers for season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyhobbit101/pseuds/hollyhobbit101
Summary: Klaus has not left his room in four days.orthe apocalypse(es) have been averted. klaus is not okay.SEASON 2 SPOILERS
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 62
Kudos: 747





	this is the part where the silence takes hold.

**Author's Note:**

> i know I've said it in both the tags and the summary but seriously major spoilers for season 2 are contained in this work, please do not read if you don't want to be spoiled. i was going to wait to post but i had to get this out.
> 
> *  
> *  
> anyway this fic is set after the finale but we're forgetting the sparrow academy because angst.

Five days after Ben saves the world, there’s a knock on Klaus’s door. He hasn’t really left his room since they got back to 2019, sometimes venturing out for food or another bottle of Dad’s booze, but he hasn’t spoken to his siblings. 

They’re all staying at the Academy for a while, save Allison who went back to LA to see Claire as soon as she could. Diego and Vanya will probably be leaving soon, too, and then it’ll just be Klaus and Luther and Five. 

He should be happy. They saved the world twice over, all in one fell swoop. Everything is back the way it was. He finally has some peace and quiet - something he’s been searching for his entire life.

Thing is, Klaus kind of hates the quiet.

Quiet means Ben is really gone. He forgets sometimes, and goes to say something, a, “Hey, Ben,” slipping from his lips before the silence drags out and _Ben is gone._

So he gets drunk. He plays loud music and ignores his siblings because they don’t get it. How could they? They did their grieving thirteen years ago, or seventeen, depending on how you look at it. 

Five days after Ben saves the world, four days after they come home, there’s a knock at Klaus’s door. He doesn’t answer, hopes whoever it is will go away, but the knocking just becomes more insistent, driving spikes into Klaus’s head.

“Klaus, open the damn door,” Diego calls, impatient. Klaus rolls his head to stare at the door but doesn’t move otherwise. Easier, he thinks, just to wait for Diego to let himself in.

A minute later, he does. He raises an eyebrow at the empty bottles scattered around the room, at Klaus slumped on the bed, but doesn’t appear otherwise surprised. Maybe Klaus would be offended by that if he could even feel anything right now.

“Come on, Klaus,” Diego says, voice unbearably soft this time. “Dinner’s ready, and you haven’t eaten and - Jesus, Klaus, have you just been existing on booze since we got back?”

Klaus shrugs. Turns away from Diego. “Just leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving until you get your ass out of bed,” Diego says. His hand lands on Klaus’s shoulder and for a second Klaus can pretend it’s Ben. But the hand is too heavy and too big and the grip too tight as it tries to pull him up and out, and Klaus tries to fight against it. 

Problem is, Diego is far stronger than him. He yanks Klaus into a semi-upright position, scowling at him now. “You know,” he comments. “Ben wouldn’t want this for you.”

Klaus sees red. “Fuck you, asshole!” he yells, summoning all his strength to shove Diego away. “You don’t know what Ben would want, you don’t know shit about him!”

There are tears stinging Klaus’s eyes and Diego looks like he just slapped him across the face. Klaus would feel bad, but now his anger is draining out of him, leaving his chest yawning and empty. Ben’s disapproving face mocks him in his periphery, but Klaus blinks and he is gone, _really_ _gone, Ben is gone._

Klaus sighs and slumps against the wall. “He would be so pissed at me,” he says quietly, just as Diego turns to leave. “You know I was sober for three years back in the 60s? Fell off the wagon just after I met Allison.”

Diego half turns towards him, body still tight with anger. Klaus can’t blame him for that. “Oh yeah?” he asks, voice carefully controlled. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know,” Klaus says airily, waving a lazy hand. “Lost love, 60s homophobia. The usual.”

Diego doesn’t seem to know how to respond, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “That sucks, bro,” he gets out eventually. 

Klaus scoffs. “Yeah.”

“And…” He shuffles awkwardly, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I’m sorry about Ben.”

Something breaks in Klaus’s chest, an overwhelming pain erupting inside him. He squeezes his eyes shut and curls into himself, tears beginning to slip down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, too,” he chokes out. “I shouldn’t have said he wasn’t there, I should have - I could have manifested him.”

“What?” Diego breathes. 

Klaus nods, a sob escaping him. “All those years we were together, he missed all of you. He hated being a ghost, hated that I was the only one he could talk to. I think he even hated me sometimes.”

“Klaus -”

“He was right to,” Klaus interrupts. “I was an asshole, and he was too, that was why I didn’t say anything. I wanted to get back at him. But now he’s _gone_ , and he never even got to talk to you all, and it’s _my fault,_ Diego, _why did I do that?”_

Diego is silent for a long time, so long that Klaus begins to suspect he’s left. Normally, he relies on Ben to tell him these things, but that’s the point of the silence, isn’t it?

“Well…” The floorboards creak, making Klaus jump as Diego comes to sit next to him. “I got to talk to him, you know? When he was -”

“Possessing me, yeah.” Klaus sighs again, looking up at Diego. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

Diego frowns. “He - What?”

“I didn’t want him inside me,” Klaus explains tiredly. “Can you imagine, having your body violated so...thoroughly? And by your dead brother, no less? I let him in for a little while because I felt bad for him, you know? The guy just wanted to talk to a girl, but then things got weird and you showed up, and I told him to get out of me but he wouldn’t. Fucking hell, Diego, _it hurt._ ”

Diego looks suddenly guilty. “I told him to stay inside you,” he whispers, horrified. “Shit, Klaus, I’m sorry, I- Is that what happened at the bar with Dad?”

“Yeah, except he didn’t warn me that time. Asshole.”

“Ben was always the nice one,” Diego says. “When we were kids. Hard to believe he would do that.”

Klaus shrugs. “Not really. Being dead did wonders for his personality.”

Diego’s got that look on his face - not-quite guilt, not-quite grief, but somewhere between the two. “He sounds like a prick,” he says after a long while. 

Klaus laughs, mixed with a sob. “Yeah. Yeah, he was,” he says. “He would have fit right in with the rest of us.”

“Yeah.” There are tears in Diego’s eyes now, and Ben smiles in the corner of Klaus’s eye. Then Klaus blinks, and the smile is gone with the rest of him.

“How do you do this?” he asks Diego. He waves his hand - _Goodbye_ \- and hopes Diego will understand. 

“Do what?”

No luck, then.

Klaus chews on his lip, fingers tangling in his bedsheets. “You know. Move on. Say goodbye. I’ve never… Not even with Dave, but I’ve never had to - you know - with Ben. He’s just always there. And now…”

“Now he’s not,” Diego finishes quietly. He takes a trembling breath. “Man… I don’t know. It takes time. But we can help you through it. _If_ you come down for dinner.”

Diego stands and holds his arm out to Klaus. Klaus stares at him in disbelief. “You’re a dick, you know that, right?”

Diego shrugs. “Makes two of us. Come on, you can’t change what we did back then, but maybe you can make up for it by telling us all about Ben.”

Klaus hesitates. He eyes up Diego’s arm, then glances at Ben’s corner. It’s empty, but of course it is.

Ben is gone, after all.

Klaus waits a second more, letting the hurt overwhelm him, hurt over Ben and Dave, both dead, both _gonegonegone_. Ben is gone to a place even Klaus can’t reach, and he’s not sure he could summon Dave if he tried _(oh, how he’s tried)_ , and all he’s got left is memories. 

Ben’s smile. Dave’s laugh. 

Ben’s bitching. Dave’s embrace. 

Memories. His to keep. His to share. 

He takes Diego’s arm.

**Author's Note:**

> guys,,,, i actually made myself cry writing this. guess i'm still not over season 2.
> 
> drop your thoughts on season 2/this fic in the comments! or come and talk to me on tumblr @morganaspendragonss!


End file.
